connuh:

i need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour

Yes yes yes yes yes

crumpetmarypoppinstea:

twiliprincess:

is it bad that i’ve

watched hair tutorials for girls as future reference

for when i have daughters

because i want to be the kind of dad that knows how to do his daughter’s hair

this is the cutest thing I have ever read omg

oregon-orgasm:

wugs:

rock bottom is when youtube comments are more intelligent than your government

^

lynzave:

today these kids were talking and being really rude during a test so I finally fulfilled my dream of telling them off by yelling “I AM FAILING THIS CLASS AND YOU DILDOS AREN’T HELPING MY SITUATION, LET ME TAKE MY TEST” and it went dead silent for like two seconds and one person snickered and the teacher said “don’t you dare laugh, she’s absolutely right”

I’ve never had a school official back me up after calling someone a dildo.

cornchipz:

awkwardcontent:

Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

some people never develop beyond this stage

darrynek:

itshinyu:

darrynek:

why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers 

And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.

get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto